If a wank fantasy falls in the woods…

On webcam tonight, an odd thing happened. Started pretty normal, then got surreal. All NSFW. Names have been changed for obvious reasons and urls redacted, but the rest is copied and pasted as it happened, typos and all:

XXXXXX enters the room

sliderulesyou: hello XXXXXX

XXXXXX: Hello Ms Slide

iiiiiii: (posts url linking to pic of trouser bulge)

sliderulesyou: just talking about cock with iiiiiii here


sliderulesyou: you like cock?

XXXXXX: I’ve actually wondered what it would be like…

sliderulesyou: enormous
sliderulesyou: thrust into your mouth
sliderulesyou: while I hold your head in place
sliderulesyou: so you can’t struggle

XXXXXX: have had a Mistress use a dildo on me but never done it with a real cock

sliderulesyou: you feel the texture of his cock against your lips
sliderulesyou: the taste
sliderulesyou: the smell
sliderulesyou: right there in your face
sliderulesyou: and I give him the nod
sliderulesyou: and he pushes his cock inside your mouth
sliderulesyou: hard

XXXXXX: You of course make it sound incredible :)

sliderulesyou: it’s so big it stretches your lips wide
sliderulesyou: slipping on your saliva
sliderulesyou: you feel the veins
sliderulesyou: bulging
sliderulesyou: the rough and smooth contrast of his skin
sliderulesyou: the feel of his foreskin as it slides gently backi
sliderulesyou: on your tongue
sliderulesyou: you lick at it
sliderulesyou: greedily
sliderulesyou: and he thrusts forward
sliderulesyou: suddenly
sliderulesyou: picture this guy
sliderulesyou: (link to photo of pants bulge)
sliderulesyou: his cock
sliderulesyou: and I hold your head in place
sliderulesyou: you almost want to draw back
sliderulesyou: it’s so big
sliderulesyou: in your mough
sliderulesyou: mouth
sliderulesyou: but
sliderulesyou: I hold you there
sliderulesyou: pinned by his cock
sliderulesyou: and you feel the rough hair of his balls
sliderulesyou: brush against your chin
sliderulesyou: the skin slapping you
sliderulesyou: and you drool
sliderulesyou: at the size of his cock
sliderulesyou: right there in your mouth
sliderulesyou: the pressure of it on your tongue
sliderulesyou: pushed so deep
sliderulesyou: you’re gagging on it
sliderulesyou: and I push your head
sliderulesyou: so it goes even deeper
sliderulesyou: getting him to fuck your face
sliderulesyou: your wet mouth
sliderulesyou: stretched lips
sliderulesyou: and you can already taste the precum
sliderulesyou: there on your tongue
sliderulesyou: lapping it up
sliderulesyou: and I’m forcing you now
sliderulesyou: getting his cock so deep in your throat
sliderulesyou: thrusting hard
sliderulesyou: and you love it
sliderulesyou: you beg for it
sliderulesyou: as it draws back

iiiiiii: i so do x

sliderulesyou: slides out for a moment
sliderulesyou: then I tell you to open wide
sliderulesyou: and he pounds it back in
sliderulesyou: hard
sliderulesyou: shoving it in and out
sliderulesyou: you feel the quivering of his shaft
sliderulesyou: the length
sliderulesyou: the width of it
sliderulesyou: so strong, there on your tongue
sliderulesyou: stretching your lips so wide
sliderulesyou: the bulging head of it
sliderulesyou: pounding you
sliderulesyou: and you grab at his legs
sliderulesyou: his strong, muscular legs
sliderulesyou: and his hard buttocks
sliderulesyou: as he fucks your face
sliderulesyou: saliva dribbling down your chin
sliderulesyou: mouth so wet
sliderulesyou: stretched so wide
sliderulesyou: and you can hear him moan
sliderulesyou: wanting
sliderulesyou: any minute
sliderulesyou: to gush into your mouth
sliderulesyou: and you feel his cock spasm
sliderulesyou: there between your lips
sliderulesyou: and suddenly
sliderulesyou: a hot rush of cum
sliderulesyou: shoots down your throaty
sliderulesyou: throat
sliderulesyou: fills your mouth
sliderulesyou: overflows from your lips
sliderulesyou: salty
sliderulesyou: hot
sliderulesyou: gushing liquid
sliderulesyou: drooling down your chin
sliderulesyou: the taste so intense
sliderulesyou: you’re almost choking on it
sliderulesyou: there’s so mucjh
sliderulesyou: hot, juicy cum
sliderulesyou: dribbling all over you
sliderulesyou: he’s wiping it all over your face
sliderulesyou: with the tip of his cock
sliderulesyou: and you lick it up
sliderulesyou: every drop
sliderulesyou: thirsty for it
sliderulesyou: and you love it
sliderulesyou: every tiny dribble of it
sliderulesyou: licking every last bit of it from his cock
sliderulesyou: gently sucking as each gush
sliderulesyou: gets less and less
sliderulesyou: and then it’s my turn
sliderulesyou: I flip you over
sliderulesyou: I’m wearing my strapon
sliderulesyou: I rub lube all over it
sliderulesyou: and all over your tight buttocks
sliderulesyou: bend you down
sliderulesyou: spread your cheeks
sliderulesyou: push my finger inside
sliderulesyou: that tight hole
sliderulesyou: exploring
sliderulesyou: getting that hole all wet
sliderulesyou: and you love it

iiiiiii: to much for me please may icum x

sliderulesyou: that feeling
sliderulesyou: penetrated
sliderulesyou: only if you drink up every drop
sliderulesyou: and you love that feeling
sliderulesyou: being filled
sliderulesyou: and I pull your cheeks apart
sliderulesyou: and push the tip of my dildo in
sliderulesyou: you wince for a moment
sliderulesyou: think it might be too big
sliderulesyou: but I thrust then

iiiiiii: Thank you x

sliderulesyou: pushing the full length
sliderulesyou: my pleasure
sliderulesyou: the full shaft
sliderulesyou: going in

iiiiiii leaves the room

sliderulesyou: sliding up
sliderulesyou: inside you
sliderulesyou: pushing your cheeks apart
sliderulesyou: stretching your hole
sliderulesyou: and it’s so big
sliderulesyou: so much so that you think you can’t take it
sliderulesyou: and suddenly I pull it back
sliderulesyou: then push in
sliderulesyou: and thrusting
sliderulesyou: in and out
sliderulesyou: you cry out
sliderulesyou: your own cock weeping precum
sliderulesyou: as I fuck your arse
sliderulesyou: grabbing you by the hips
sliderulesyou: pulling you back and forth
sliderulesyou: on my cock
sliderulesyou: shoving it deeper
sliderulesyou: every time
sliderulesyou: harder
sliderulesyou: and you’re helpless
sliderulesyou: there on my cock
sliderulesyou: pinned by it
sliderulesyou: and I thrust harder
sliderulesyou: faster
sliderulesyou: and you’re begging to touch your own
sliderulesyou: poor
sliderulesyou: neglected cock
sliderulesyou: and so I let you
sliderulesyou: you rub it
sliderulesyou: frantically
sliderulesyou: almost crying
sliderulesyou: as I fuck your hole
sliderulesyou: harder still
sliderulesyou: right inside you
sliderulesyou: deep
sliderulesyou: plunging in and out
sliderulesyou: with my wide
sliderulesyou: long
sliderulesyou: dildo
sliderulesyou: you feel the pressure of my breasts
sliderulesyou: bouncing against your back
sliderulesyou: as I thrust
sliderulesyou: feel the size of my cock
sliderulesyou: thrusting right up inside you
sliderulesyou: and I smack your buttocks
sliderulesyou: as I ride you
sliderulesyou: and I want you to cum
sliderulesyou: all over your fingers
sliderulesyou: and lick it up
sliderulesyou: rub hard
sliderulesyou: rub that sad cock
sliderulesyou: while I fuck you with my huge strapon
sliderulesyou: rub it
sliderulesyou: force that orgasm
sliderulesyou: feel it
sliderulesyou: shudder through
sliderulesyou: deep inside
sliderulesyou: as I fill you right up
sliderulesyou: and I want you to feel hot cum dribbling over your fingers
sliderulesyou: as I fuck every drop out of you
sliderulesyou: are you rubbing that cock right now?
sliderulesyou: rubbing that sad, little cock?
sliderulesyou: milking its juice
sliderulesyou: all over your sticky hands
sliderulesyou: feeling that intense shame
sliderulesyou: and pleasure
sliderulesyou: and pure joy
sliderulesyou: are you rubbing it right now?
sliderulesyou: rubbing too much to type?
sliderulesyou: repetitive strain injury?
sliderulesyou: has all that wanking broken you?
sliderulesyou: have you literally wanked yourself to death?
sliderulesyou: (I’m sure there are worse ways to go)
sliderulesyou: you’ve genuinely disappeared?
sliderulesyou: or just forgotten how to type?
sliderulesyou: jizzed into your own eyes so you can no longer see these words?
sliderulesyou: cum so hard you’ve accidentally spunked out your entire vocabulary?
sliderulesyou: wanked with such force that your hands have calcified into useless Action Man fists?
sliderulesyou: I have no idea if you’re even reading this now
sliderulesyou: but I’ll assume you are
sliderulesyou: unless you’ve accidentally sealed your eyes shut with semen
sliderulesyou: this is turning into one of those situations
sliderulesyou: like at school
sliderulesyou: when the teacher is waiting for someone to own up to something
sliderulesyou: and says “I can wait here all day. It’s your own time you’re wasting.”
sliderulesyou: either you’ll type a reply
sliderulesyou: or your credit will run out
sliderulesyou: (if you genuinely have wanked yourself to death)
sliderulesyou: (I hope you haven’t)
sliderulesyou: (it’ll be a bit embarrassing all round)
sliderulesyou: (especially if you’re reading these words during an out of body experience)
sliderulesyou: (floating above your jizzy corpse)
sliderulesyou: (now that would be awkward)
sliderulesyou: perhaps you just wandered off
sliderulesyou: forgot you were talking to a woman
sliderulesyou: men do that a lot
sliderulesyou: but usually in real life, not on webcam
sliderulesyou: thing is
sliderulesyou: I wonder at what point you stopped reading
sliderulesyou: during the first bit
sliderulesyou: all about sucking a chap’s knob
sliderulesyou: or later on
sliderulesyou: during the imaginary bumming
sliderulesyou: the thought I might have been typing to myself
sliderulesyou: for the past 25 mins
sliderulesyou: is sort of odd
sliderulesyou: existential crisis
sliderulesyou: if a wank fantasy falls in the woods
sliderulesyou: and there’s nobody there to wank to it
sliderulesyou: ..
sliderulesyou: but, bizarrely, the aforementioned wanker is still paying for it
sliderulesyou: I suppose I should probably just log off
sliderulesyou: unless you suddenly leap back into the conversation
sliderulesyou: with a spluttered apology

XXXXXX: wlondeful thank you :D

sliderulesyou: hahahahahahahaha
sliderulesyou: you’re back
sliderulesyou: !
sliderulesyou: did you die?
sliderulesyou: is this your ghost?

XXXXXX: that was truly amazing thank you :D

sliderulesyou: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
sliderulesyou: can I put this conversation on my blog?

XXXXXX: really me

sliderulesyou: (anonymity assured – I’ll xxxx out your username)

XXXXXX: lol yes though very one sided

sliderulesyou: it made me laugh

XXXXXX: gald abut that Ms Slide xx

sliderulesyou: speak soon
sliderulesyou: xxxxx
sliderulesyou: night night
sliderulesyou: xxxx

XXXXXX: thanks again

Server Status : Logged Off From Server Apr 15 2014 00:05:32

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The New Yoga

Here’s a snippet from a fascinating article at LiveScience about a study into BDSM leading to altered states of consciousness:

“…Before and after their sexual experience, the volunteers completed a cognitive test called the Stroop task, in which they saw a word for a color written in a color other than what the word said (“blue” written in red, for example). It’s hard for the brain to read the word correctly when the color of the letters clashes with the meaning, making this a widely used test of cognitive abilities. The volunteers also filled out questionnaires about their feelings of “flow” during the sadomasochistic experience. Flow is a state of focus and enjoyment that people feel when fully immersed in a task.

The results showed that people playing the pain-receiving role showed poorer Stroop task scores, which are seen with short-term reductions of functions in a part of the brain called the dorsolateral prefrontal cortexAmbler said. This region is linked to executive control, working memory and other higher-level functions.

The pain that comes with sadomasochistic sex may cause the brain to shunt blood flow away from this region, causing a subjectively altered state of consciousness — and the appeal of SM, Ambler said…”

Read the whole article here.


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March Pedestal – final night at the Colosseum

From Club Pedestal:

“Pedestal’s next event will be Friday 28th March from 10pm to 5am at Club Colosseum. 

Sadly this is our last party at Club Colosseum due to the venue closing down, so please help us celebrate our 6 fantastic years there!!! Its been our longest and happiest stretch at any venue, so lets make sure we leave with a bang before moving to a new night club.

Live Acts: A shiny, sensual, sexy first timer to our Midnight stage- The outrageous and unique Ruby Wednesday will be joining us with a performance that will intrigue, titillate, excite, and shock…blurring the lines and stirring the senses. The fabulous Aurora Galore will grace us with her twisted flaming mysticism, inspiring dance moves, and a self-pleasing relationship with a flame that only a Woman could dominate. Last, but not least, Beatrix Carlotta will tell a touching and taunting love story with her TOY, about that first experience. Join her and her play thing for drama, passion, and dark arousal with their latest performance ‘Virgin’.

For a flavour of the event and more details, please check out our web site :


The VOX bar will be available for pre-club drinks from 8pm to 10pm. No dress code in the VOX, although its just Pedestal guests, so light play is possible. The VOX bar is right next door to the Colosseum.

Also upcoming for November, Pedestals regular attractions:

• Large team of House Slaves to serve and pamper female guests.
• Massive play space featuring over 15 pieces of fabulous kit.
• Guided tour for new people leaving fetlife corner, 10:30pm.
• DJs Acid Jo & Jamie Moon playing the suitably eclectic mix.
• Fetlife corner for meeting online fetish friends, staffed 10pm to 12pm.
• The Goddess room for a stricter environment.
• Free Tantric Massage for women in the Goddess Room.
• Best Dressed Man competition after the Cabaret.
• Select-A-slave in the goddess room at 11pm.
• Luxury Canapés
• ‘Maitre D’ service for women.

If you’d like to see the facebook page or say you’re going on Facebook, check here :


You can also see/RSVP on Fetlife here :


Tickets for Pedestal available online from Joanna Lark’s store :


Club Pedestal will be open from 10pm to 5am. The Colosseum is conveniently close to Vauxhall tube and national rail stations in London (5 minute walk) :

Club Colosseum, 
Market Towers,
1 Nine Elms Lane,
London SW8 5NQ.

There is a free car park next to the club, the entrance is just past the Colosseum entrance.

Tickets will be available on the door, and can be purchased in advance from the following stores:

Joanna Lark online : http://www.joannalark.com/store/categories/Tickets/Club-Pedestal/
Honour, 86 Lower Marsh, Waterloo, London. SE1 7AB.
Regulation, 17A St Albans Place Islington London N1.
Liberation, 49 Shelton Street, Covent Garden, London WC2H 9HE.

Singles £18 in advance, £20 on the door.
Couples £30 in advance, £35 on the door 

Please visit the Pedestal web site for more details - http://www.clubpedestal.com


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Yva Richard Vintage Kink

From Spanking Art:

“Yva Richard was one of the main purveyors of fetish attire and other BDSM products in France from the 1920s to the early ’40s. The company, based in Paris, was formed by L. Richard and his wife Nativa, who was a seamstress. They began in 1914 selling costumes, women’s hats, shoes, and high-class lingerie.

In 1923, their range of products started to include in-house produced photography, ranging from erotic lingerie poses to increasingly risque and imaginative fetish outfits. Nativa, displaying a wide streak of exhibitionism, was the principal model for over a decade. She sometimes used the names Helios and Miss Milado. Their photographs are often marked with a “Y.R.” in the corner and may have been taken by her husband.

They also sold erotic photos of bondage, whipping and spanking from well-known photographers such as H. Manuel and Ostra Studio (a division of Biederer Studio).
Their main sales outlet was via a mail-order catalog, La Lingerie Moderne (photographed by Ostra Studio), and magazine advertisements in La Vie Parisienne, Le Sourire, and most likely London Life.

By the 1930s their catalog expanded, adding fetishistic accessories and S&M accouterments such as leather corsets, high-heeled boots, handcuffs, shackles, masks, dog collars with leashes, and bizarre dominatrix ensembles made of leather, rubber, and even metal (see photo).
However, the events of World War II brought an end to Yva Richard, along with most other purveyors of erotic art, products, and apparel throughout Europe. The company was forced to close its doors forever in 1943 during the Nazi occupation of France.”

For more, click here.


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For this performer – very much a feminist – it’s the stigma, not the work itself, that harms her. Exploitation within sex work is not universal. The way the anti-sex-work agenda silences women like this by dismissing them as mindless victims is just as dehumanising as other harmful stereotypes meted out to sex workers. There are many things about porn that are problematic and need to be fixed, but stigmatising the entire industry and those within it just makes everything worse for everyone. Feminists: the false dichotomy of virgin/victim is just as bad as virgin/whore and as much a product of patriarchy. Here’s part of a wonderful article at XOJane – “I’M THE DUKE UNIVERSITY FRESHMAN PORN STAR AND FOR THE FIRST TIME I’M TELLING THE STORY IN MY WORDS”:

“…It terrifies us to even fathom that a woman could take ownership of her body. We deem to keep women in a place where they are subjected to male sexuality. We seek to rob them of their choice and of their autonomy. We want to oppress them and keep them dependent on the patriarchy. A woman who transgresses the norm and takes ownership of her body — because that’s exactly what porn is, no matter how rough the sex is — ostensibly poses a threat to the deeply ingrained gender norms that polarize our society.

I am well aware: The threat I pose to the patriarchy is enormous. That a woman could be intelligent, educated and CHOOSE to be a sex worker is almost unfathomable.

I find it interesting that porn (a billion-dollar industry) is consumed by millions of people – men and women (and all other equally wonderful genders) alike — yet no one is willing to consider the lives of the people behind the camera. No one wants to hear about the abuses and exploitation that take place, no one wants to hear about the violence committed every day against sex workers, no one wants to consider that we have hopes and dreams and ambitions.

No, all we are is “whores and bimbos.”

I reject this. Instead, what I ask for is simple. I, like all other sex workers, want to be treated with dignity and respect. I want equal representation under the law and within societal institutions. I want people to acknowledge our humanity. I want people to listen to our unique narratives and dialogues…”

Read the full article here.


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